The Birth of Screenwriting

By Alecia Smith

In reference to my script titled, “The Performers” analyzed by Daniel Manus

So, analyze this! A script doesn’t become a script until it has been conceived with thoughts and ideas, and a back and forth motion of words and thoughts are released. These words, ideas and thoughts, known as the premise, travel to the paper where a burst of brainstorm hits and conception has begun.  A seed has been planted and now that seed must grow. We help nurture the little seed by feeding it with food such as characters, plots, sub-plots, and moments of “Damn this is good!” However, is it really good? Listen, if you have nine months to get this baby together before it is born, you have to prepare, stocking up on all the things you will need. 

So, let the birthing process begin.

How do you birth a really good screenplay?

This process is not as easy as it seems for many screenwriters, including myself. We all think we have a really good story. And I have to be honest, I was hit on the head by a hammer when I hired and started working with Daniel Manus of No BullScript Consulting. He has help me realized just how critical certain elements of screenwriting are like plot development and having three-dimensional characters. The process is painstakingly hard, and I’ve had a true moment of, “Is it all worth it?” I had to learn first hand just how to push the limits of writing a really great screenplay, let alone tell a story in industry standards of 120 pages (a 2 hr movie).

Three months ago, I had hired Daniel to complete studio coverage on “The Performers”, a romantic love story that was adapted from a previous script titled, “Something to Remember.” Daniel completed the coverage and I was excited and couldn’t wait to hear all the good news he would have for me. However, it wasn’t good news. The coverage stated that it was a sweetly played love story but with no real punch! He said the characters were superficially drawn and not three-dimensional and my second act just fell apart. The person he thought was the antagonist turned out to be a really good person. WTF?

Daniel said, “It’s great for a romantic novel, but not for film!” Of course, I’d taken this information as a slap in the face and I was really hurt. I really thought I had a pretty damn good story. I had many readings and people who were very excited about the story and then it hit me; everyone was not Daniel Manus. No one else was looking at it from an executive perspective. The story was just that – a good story. He pointed out what I did very well, and what I really needed to work on. I had a pretty solid premise, but the story was lacking the punch it needed to move it forward. There was confusion whether it was a romantic comedy or a drama. There were really funny lines, but not enough for it to be a comedy, and there really wasn’t enough ‘drama’ for it to be a drama. So, what is the genre? Daniel stated, “I needed to create the “OH MY GOD effect!” Things that may your jaw drop. It doesn’t have to be big budget, it can be small enough and still make you say wow!” So, I was given a challenge to go back and complete a re-write.  Daniel advised me that the story would be better told as a drama as opposed to a romantic comedy, because of its commercial appeal. It was up to me to take this advice or leave it. Should I re-write this story based on what someone else says, or should I just give up writing for good?

Wink …I took the challenge and decided to move forward with Daniel’s notes. He’s the birthing coach and I’m the pregnant lady that’s trying to give birth to a stubborn child.  I wasn’t feeding her right. I was using the wrong formula, which would explain why I was so sick when I heard the bad news.  I needed to help my baby grow by feeding her the right formula. It was really that simple, but the hard part was finding the right formula, so she could grow in order to be born. The formula was Daniel’s advice.

I’d gone to Office Depot and stocked up on paper, pens, highlighters and ink for my laser jet; I was ready. I sat and pondered the story; I didn’t want to change the story and I struggled immensely hard. “I don’t want to change my story!” Then, I realized I needed to find a way to make it punch and the only way to do that was to indeed change the story. It wasn’t easy, because I really loved the original, which was like a sweetly played Cinderella kind of theme. But I also knew that the Cinderella aspect would have to go if I really wanted to make this baby kick. After a few weeks of pondering, I told my self that I have the opportunity to tell a really great story, and deliver a powerful message. So, if I do this, I’ll have to go hard, really HARD!

So, I used the formula Daniel had given me and started forming a new treatment with all of my ideas from the original story and created something more dynamic. After weeks of writing the treatment, it was finished and I was scared all over again. It’s like going to the doctor for a check-up and you’re waiting to see if you’re going to have a healthy baby or not. So, I sent the treatment to Daniel to review it, to make sure I was heading in the right direction with the new developments.

Daniel read the treatment and we had our conference call to talk about what I’d done and the new direction. I didn’t know what to expect. Honestly, I felt Daniel was going to slice it with an ax from some bloody horror movie like he did my first script. I was expecting it. I’d prepared for it.  The first thing he said was, “Damn, you created a whole new story!” I chuckled a bit, because it was a whole new story – same characters and premise, just a new direction. Then he said in a subtle, yet timid voice, “Hmm, I read your formula and I was a little worried there for a minute. I didn’t know how this could be pulled off!”  Of course my face fell again, and I casually said, “Oh no!” falling into the slumps again. I was devastated! But he quickly continued, saying, “But you totally pulled it off! This is totally sellable in the market, providing you execute the screenplay well! Very good, Alecia!”

My face lit up like fireworks on the 4^th of July.  I was ecstatic, goober-excited to hear those words, “Very good!” and it was from an executive perspective. I apparently had followed the formula. We talked for two hours going over everything: the theme, the premise, the pace, the characters, the plots, and sub-plots. Daniel said that everything was there for a really sexy drama to unfold and my characters now seemed very three-dimensional. He gave me kudos for a really good treatment format too, excluding the grammatical errors (it was for his eyes only). Now the hard work was turning that treatment into a sellable screenplay. Daniel had only one problem with the treatment – I had so much going on, he wasn’t sure if I could fit it all in a 120-page script.

Months later, it’s January 2010 – a brand new year, and the screenplay is complete. It’s ready to be sent over to Daniel for coverage again. Fingers crossed. But little does Daniel know; there have been some new plot twists and developments that came from the powers of the universe. Totally unbelievable (in a good way) and the birthing process to writing a really good screenplay has begun. I totally look forward to Daniel’s response and feedback. I hope that I’ve executed a great screenplay and a really solid and powerful story. So to answer the question, “How do you birth a really good screenplay?”

1. You get advice from a screenwriting coach who knows what they are talking about.
2. You take that criticism and use it, even if it’s negative. Don’t throw it away. That’s valuable advice.
3. Learn how to take those mistakes and learn from them, by taking your time and pulling back. Reconsider all options. Remember you’re feeding your baby the wrong formula.
4. You follow the instructions (the formula) your coach has given to you.
5. Follow your gut and go for it! If it speaks to you, your baby is telling you something. Even if it’s not the original direction you wanted. Take the risk and go for it. It may just pay off.
6. Read books and other screenplays by writers whose scripts have been produced and turned into film. They are a great reference tool.
7. You execute the formula correctly and you will have a really good and healthy baby (screenplay). Don’t give up. Keep writing.

Writing a great screenplay is about executing the formula. Making sure you have a solid premise, theme, plots, twist and great characters to move your story forward.  For more information on writing great screenplays, read Robert McKee’s “Story,” an amazing book. It’s available for purchase at Barnes and Noble and the audio version on iTunes.

If you are an aspiring screenwriter who has friends that keep telling you that your story is the greatest, then have Daniel Manus take a look at it and get a professional, executive’s perspective on it – you will be amazed. His notes are exactly as advertised – “NO BULLSHIT!” It may hurt, but wouldn’t you want someone to tell you that you’re making mistakes and give you the opportunity to correct them and let your work shine! Or would you prefer to rely on your friends and be set up for failure, because they won’t be honest with you, because they know how much it means to you and don’t want to hurt your feelings. The choice is yours.

Daniel is as honest as it gets and I highly recommend him. Just like his tagline says, “Hate me today …Love me in your acceptance speech!” I know I will and that’s why he’s my professional reader! Please visit Daniel Manus and No BullScript Consulting at www.nobullscript.net

Wish me success!

Alecia Smith, Screenwriter of “Elysian Fields & Love Stronger than Pride”

Brainstorming…When it Rains it Pours

Have you ever gotten stuck? Ever know that there’s an answer out there that will bring your whole script together but you just…can’t…find it? Or perhaps you’ve got a great logline and concept but you just don’t know where to take the story that will make it commercial and complex? What do you do? Well I suggest it’s time for a brainstorming session. And I suggest you don’t do it alone.

Around the end of the year, it’s easy to put things in a drawer and just wait until January to start something new. But that just means December is the perfect time for brainstorming.  It’s often helpful to make a list or speak out loud – you might just come up with the answer you’re looking for, but if you’re doing this by yourself, you might not realize it. Stream of Conscious sessions can be great to stir up ideas but I think they are even more productive if there’s someone weathering the brain-storm with you who knows what they are talking about and can say, “Yes! That’s it! Try that idea!”

Writers at every level use this technique to fix a story problem, flesh out their stories or come up with new ones. It’s a service that some script consultants offer, including myself. It’s basically like having your own development executive by your side to help you realize what’s working, what isn’t, and why. I highly recommend it and have found that many of my clients at No BullScript have come to love it. Some writers want someone there through the whole process – like a mentor – from fleshing out the idea through the writing of the first or second draft to make sure you stay on track, story-wise. Others just want a professional stamp of approval and suggestions on an idea or storyline before they write it because they are worried they might be wasting their time. It’s certainly better to use a consultant at this point rather than wait for the pitchfest and use the executive as a barometer on your story. You only get one chance with them!

I feel like two heads are often better than one. I had two recent clients that found the answers they were searching for after a brainstorming session. The first just couldn’t come up with a third act turning point – a catalyst that was sufficient enough to bring her characters together. Her current one was too dark and just didn’t fit the story, and she had dismissed others because they didn’t seem original or important enough. And it was through just brainstorming during a phone consultation – listing all the things that could happen to this character – that we figured out the one that fit. 

Another client of mine had a million ideas and loglines but no sufficient storylines fleshed out and he didn’t know where to begin and was worried about taking them in the wrong direction. So what did we do? He sent me 10 ideas (a logline and whatever thoughts or bits of information he had already worked out) and I brainstormed possible storylines for all the ones I thought worked, creating some characters, some storylines, and basically giving him options on ways the story could go that matched what he wanted. And when I sent the ideas back, he had all these options to choose from that reinforced his belief that he had some great concepts to work with and he couldn’t wait to start writing.

In general, this is a great exercise for writers. Come up with 10 loglines – they don’t all have to be winners – and then take the 5 you like best and spend 15-30 minutes on each,  brainstorming storylines or characters or plot points that could flesh out the story and write them all down. You don’t have to be too specific, but sometimes a certain scene or line will pop into your brain – write ‘em down! You may not like any of them, or you might find a trend or theme that could help you with other projects. Or maybe – you will create a story you fall in love with. Being able to plot out a general story in a short amount of time will really help you down the line.

As an executive, I used to do this all the time, but the days where a company will just work on a pitch from scratch with a writer (especially an unproduced or first time writer) are over. Nowadays, you not only need a completed script but preferably a package. But you can still do this on your own, or with a consultant.

Brainstorming with a consultant isn’t about telling a writer what they should write – it’s about giving that creative rock the first nudge down the hill and helping set up different ways for it to fall — and then letting the writer take over. Sometimes a writer just needs someone to talk to – to flesh out ideas out loud. Or create a list of every possible option and eliminate from there. Talking to your buddy or family member or dog is great but isn’t going to give you the constructive feedback you need to make this list productive or make you see the bigger, sellable picture.

If you are interested in a brainstorming or story conception/direction session, or are looking for professional feedback on your ideas, please contact me at Daniel@nobullscript.net. And in the meantime, keep thinking, and keep writing!

The Age Old/Old Age Question

I was recently asked by one of the writers in my seminar – “Am I too old to be writing screenplays and trying to break in to the business? Am I too old to get hired?” And my short quick answer was NO! However, the longer answer is a bit more involved and not quite as inspiring.

Of course you are never too old to write – even if you’re too old to hold a pen, you can still write. And there is no age limit on creativity. A writer can be prolific at any age and if you’ve been writing for 30 years, you’re probably a lot better then you were when you started. But writing isn’t the same thing as breaking into the film industry. There is no question that Hollywood is an ageist industry. If you START writing screenplays when you’re 60, you’re going to have a harder time than those trying to break in at 22 or 25 years old. This business is run by billionaires over 60 and executives under 35.  In most industries, the older you are, the wiser and more experienced people think you are. In Hollywood, the older you are, the more detached from the prime demographic you are thought to be.

There are a few reasons why being older makes it harder to break in (though definitely not impossible).  First, as you get older, chances are your connection to what’s “hip” and what can sell gets that much more removed. Do you know the hottest TV shows, movies, books, music, actors, internet sites, words, phrases, lingo, etc.? Probably not.

Writers write what they know or what they would like to go see themselves. The problem with this is that if you’re over 50 or so, chances are what you like to see isn’t the same as the prime 18-49 demographic. Most writers over 60 that pitch to me have either written a period piece, an autobiography or story about something that happened to them, or a family drama that suspiciously sounds like their own family. And these aren’t what sell. You know how when you go over to Grandma’s house, sometimes she wants to whip out the old home movies…well…if your grandkids don’t want to watch them, why would kids all over the country? It’s just about connecting with what sells (see my previous articles on the period piece and autobiography for more on this).

Second, because executives are usually 25-35 years old, sometimes it’s hard for them to give notes to their grandparents. And speaking from experience, the older one is, often the more “stuck in their ways” they can become and to succeed in Hollywood, you have to be incredibly collaborative, malleable and willing to completely change everything. In other words, don’t be that old curmudgeon on the porch who screams and rants about “those crazy kids.”

Lastly, and this is going to sound harsh, but if you’re first breaking in at age 65, then an agent or manager has to look at how many productive and creative years they have left to work with you. Most agents look for clients that they can have a long, productive and profitable relationship with. And five or ten years isn’t that long if you’re still working on only your second script.

Something I’ve discovered is that everyone wants to leave a legacy. Everyone wants to leave their stamp on the world in some way (other than just having children) and screenwriting is a great way to do that. I think this is why so many people, upon retiring from their different chosen profession, choose to start writing. The day job is over and now they can write and tell their story, express themselves, etc. It’s the legacy they want to leave. If you get a movie made, your name is forever and always on that project in the history of Hollywood (for better or worse). And this is completely understandable and commendable. However, I will point out that Jay Leno had a chance to be remembered as one of the great late night personalities of all time, and now he will be remembered as the person who not only killed NBC, but perhaps killed primetime.

Now before all you AARP members throw your Final Draft CD away and come after me with pitchforks and torches, I want to give you the upside. Companies are so hungry for new, original, well-written material that they don’t care who or where it comes from. A couple years ago, I was queried on virtualpitchfest.com and I asked to read the script. It was a young, female-skewed romantic comedy. I loved it, my boss loved it and we optioned the script. Six months later, the writer, who lived in the Midwest, made a trip to LA and we finally met – and he was a tall, older man – easily in his 60s with pants higher than my grandfather’s. Ya know what? It didn’t matter. His script was great. I connected him with a manager, who got him an agent and he has gone on to write numerous projects for Hallmark Channel and is now writing full time.

Screenwriting contests and query websites are completely anonymous. No one knows how old you are or where you’re from. They only know if you can write and tell a good story. If you are a finalist in the Nicholls or Disney Fellowship or some other prestigious contest, you’re going to get representation and meetings no matter how old you are. So, at the end of the day, while it is harder, you can absolutely still break in at an older age. You may just need to go about it a different way and you need to pay attention to the marketplace and pop culture even more than your younger competition so that no one can say that you’re out of touch. Now let’s go grab that early bird special and get to work!

You Had Me at Hello: How to Make Your First Page Shine

You’ve all heard the horror stories of producers who only read the first page and if they’re not hooked, intrigued or impressed, they toss the script. And it’s been drilled into you how important the first page is and how you better have something big and shiny there to keep people’s attentions and make sure they read page two. And while I’ve never ONLY read one page of a script before passing, I can usually tell if it’s going to be a worthwhile script just by reading this single piece of paper, representative of weeks, months or years of hard work. Fair? No. True? Yes. An A-list writer once said ‘It usually takes one page to figure out if the writing is good, but one line to know if it’s bad.’

Much like your title and your logline, your first page needs to tell a reader certain things. It should set up and tell us the tone of the script. Is it dark and creepy, is it happy and funny, is there a sense of suspense, uneasiness, anxiety, death, happiness, love, etc. Your first page should make us feel an emotion – whatever the correct emotion is for your story. It should tell us the setting and time period so we know where we are. Unless otherwise stated, execs will assume your script takes place in the present. If it doesn’t, you should state this on page one so we know that your writing is genuine to the time period.

If you are writing a horror, there should be a feeling that death is looming (think the first scene of “Scream”). If you’re writing a comedy, something should be done or said or seen that makes me laugh. And if you’re writing an action movie, you should start with a bang or at least make it clear that a bang is coming right around the corner.

It should introduce us to either your protagonist/hero or your antagonist/villain. Sometimes it’s creepy to start by focusing on the bad guy or his crime or something like that. With a horror movie, much like with TV shows, the first scene is often a teaser setting up a killing that may not include your main characters at all, but sets up the story and the tone and that your main characters will soon be put into a similar gruesome situation. Your description of your main character should be a bit more extensive and really make us feel like we know him or her, though it should not tell us anything that we can’t physically see on screen. Don’t give us back story in your description on page one unless we are seeing it on screen – that’s an amateur mistake. 

Obviously there should not be any typos or grammatical or formatting mistakes. If your first page has a couple typos, I will not read page two. Life’s too short. You should start your first page with FADE IN: and that should be the last time you type those words. Then comes your scene heading and then…you’re off.

And finally, your first page should grab me and show me that you have a voice as a writer that is going to make this script an enjoyable read. It should tell me in subtle and interesting ways that you are unique. And most importantly, it should make me want to read more.

You can use a fair amount of description on page one – more than usual – as you are setting up a fair amount of information. I know I’ve said that executives love white space and more dialogue on the page, but the first page is the exception page. It’s fine to open with some dialogue (usually done more in comedies then other genres), but it’s okay to switch up the ratio on page one also.

I wanted to share with you a few often-made first page mistakes. First, if the whole first page is just a narrator’s voice over speech with no description or action or anything happening on screen, this tells me there’s nothing happening. Even if you’re using a voice over as the first dialogue in your script, you have to set the scene first and tell us what we’re seeing. If I am totally confused and have no idea where the script is taking place, this will cause a “huh?” moment, and you don’t want one of these on page one. If the dialogue is cliché or feels slight or stale or repetitive, that’s going to be an instant turn off. If there’s dialogue on page one, it needs to pop and put us into the mindset and voice of the character.

Basically you need to paint a picture on page one and make it clear that your story is visual and your writing is interesting. Can you do all these things on page one? Well, it’s not easy. But the more of these things you can do, the better the chance that people get to page two…ten… and 110.

All About Instinct

What is it that would propel a writer to jot down one hundred and thirty pages about the one-legged woman who married the inventor of the soybean? Or a story about the quadriplegic midget who falls in love with a gold miner in 1886? Or a nice sentimental drama about a man who was raped be a seal?

The answer – bad instincts. That thing every writer has inside of them that basically serves as their navigation tool – their story compass – that points their script in a certain direction. They can kill a writer’s career long before it ever starts. If your instincts drive you to a completely noncommercial, ridiculous, boring, inappropriate, or confusing place – there’s not much we can do for you. And by the way, I have been pitched at least ONE of the stories in the first paragraph.

One of the most common remarks you’ll overhear an executive say at a pitchfest, is “we can tell the writer just has bad instincts.” We can usually tell if you have the right instincts, but often bad instincts can be disguised by a great pitch. I’ve had pitches that blew me away but when I started reading the script, the characters were downright despicable and the story went into odd, random directions that were never even discussed in the pitch.

It’s THE dreaded comment really, because most other things can be fixed or improved upon with a little hard work and dedication, but we can’t change a writer’s instincts. Sure, we can change the story your instincts have driven you to write, but to change a writer’s instincts is like pushing a 10 ton truck up a hill. It’s just too hard to try. There’s too much resistance and not enough upside, because a writer with bad instincts is like dead weight on the page. It’s also the most frustrating comment for us to give, because we can see that you have a spark of a good idea or something that COULD work – if it were in another writer’s hands. And we want to take that idea from you and make it what it SHOULD be – and sometimes we are tempted. But we know that giving you notes to change your whole story is only going to anger you and waste our time. There’s nothing we can do but show you alternate directions for which to take your story, but ultimately, if a writer wants to write a story about a quadriplegic midget who buys a horse, nothing we say is going to make him reconsider.

There are a number of things that go into shaping a writer’s instincts. Much like how one’s upbringing and relationships growing up affect their future relationships, it also affects their writing. If you were born on a hippy commune, your first script might be an anti-government conspiracy tale. If you come from a home with divorced parents, your first script might be an “American Beauty” wannabe (as my first script was). This is because when you start your writing career, everyone tells you to write what you know. I always tell people to write what is in them to write – and then put it aside and write something that can sell.

How do you know if you have good instincts? Well, let’s say you have a great general set-up but you’re not sure what direction to take your story in. For example, your set-up is a guy falls in love with his lifelong best friend’s girl. Common enough right? What’s going to show us you have good instincts is your take on how this occurs, why this occurs, and where it goes once it has occurred. If you have poor instincts, you go to the same place everyone else goes – the men fight over the girl trying to best each other being nice until she gets sick of both and they learn that friendship is more important.

Someone with better instincts will put a different twist on that story. Perhaps instead of the girl realizing she doesn’t love them, THEY discover they don’t love her, but neither wants to lose, so they keep dating her trying to drive her to the other guy. That’s a new twist on a really old concept. I’m not saying it’s a great idea, but it’s a new twist. There are a hundred ways to go with this kind of concept, so I suggest a writer sit down and list 10 different directions you COULD go with your story – even if you have your whole story figured out. Give yourself options. Because invariably, some studio exec is going to give you the note, “we love the set-up, but is there another direction this story could go in?” And you will already have 9 more ideas to pitch them.

Everyone says that a person’s first instinct is usually the right one – that is not the case with writing. Often it takes the rewriting and editing process for a writer to realize his or her story’s true potential!

How do you know if it’s your concept that isn’t working or your story instincts? Pitch your story two different ways. First, pitch your project as just a high-concept logline. Then pitch your project more in depth with more of your story. If you get bites for your concept, but your story gets you rejected, then your story instincts have led you astray.

Improving ones instincts is a great deal harder than just rewriting a script or improving your dialogue, because it goes deeper. It’s not just a line on a page, it’s what you feel in your heart. However, in order to get past your writer’s block, repeated rejection, or repetitive story rut, it’s your instincts that you’re going to have to examine.

I’ll Put A Spell On You

Quite a few writers lately have asked me if typos and grammatical mistakes are a big enough reason for me to pass on a project. My quick answer is YES. I then ask them: “Why do you ask? Do you intend on writing something with lots of typos?” It almost seems like a silly question for a writer to ask. Are you worried that you can’t spell? Many of history’s greatest writers have stated publicly that they are horrible spellers or never passed a grammar class. Well, that’s okay because guess what – there’s a program that can help you with that.

One of my biggest personal pet peeves is spelling and grammar. Maybe part of that is because my mother is an English teacher and when I used bad grammar, she’d give me the eye. But the real reason is two-fold:

1. It distracts me. It takes me out of the story and the writing because now I’m counting and correcting spelling instead of connecting to your characters or trying to figure out the big picture of your script.

2. It tells me that you are a lazy and sloppy writer, and I don’t like to work with lazy writers. It takes so very little time to run a spell check or grammar check and you, the writer, should be going over every word of your script with a fine-toothed comb before you submit it anywhere – even to a script consultant.

However, never in the history of screenwriting has a script been passed on because it had one or two misspelled words. Okay, maybe Scott Rudin did it once, but it was a busy day. So when I say typos, I don’t mean a couple. I mean if there are one or two typos on EVERY page (or every 5 pages)…then yeah, I might pass because I don’t think you worked hard enough to make it look professional.

The bottom line is – with the myriad of reasons executives and analysts have to pass on your script, why would you want to give them one more? Especially something you have full control over. You can’t control what else they have in development or what genre they are looking for, but you can make sure that your script looks professional. If I find two scripts in the same genre that I love equally, which script do you think I’m going to want to read again and again – the one with typos and mis-wordings and grammatical mistakes on every page (which also tells me they will be there in all subsequent drafts), or the one that reads clean and easy and keeps my head in the story?

Do yourself a favor…never ask an exec the question about typos again and instead, ask the following question of yourself: “Is my script the best representation of my ability as a writer?” And then make sure you spelled the question right.